2014: New Year, Same Me!

Happy New Year one and all!  And Happy 1 Year Anniversary to this blog.  To my loyal 4-5 followers, I wish you all nothing but the very best in 2014.  May we all strike it rich and be merry together.  But if for some reason we don't happen to stumble across an unclaimed pile of money/precious gems on the street, here's what I wish for myself and for all of you:

1. Be Happy - Above all things I wish for happiness. I wanted to post something funny here from Urban Dictionary defining happiness, but instead I'll post the link and refer to you to #3.  This is someone's own interpretation of happiness, but it does ring true.  Be happy, everyone.  Figure out what it means to you and then live everyday in the pursuit of it. 

2. Be More Care Free -  I promise myself to throw more caution to the wind- to take more risks, have fun!  No sense living in fear of the unknown, right?  Just go for it!  I'm not saying get crazy and pull a  "Yes Man," just not let me get in my own way as much.  It's my ever-present fear of failure and rejection that has been obstructing my confidence all these years. I think 25-year old Lauren could use some pointers from 12-year old Lauren.  I need to get in touch with my inner child, who used to never give two figs about what other people thought.  I'm working on it...

3. Travel - Or rather, keep on travelling! The urge to explore is embedded into my DNA.  This year included Chicago, Savannah, Las Vegas, New Orleans and St. Augustine domestically.  Biggest events included Israel, England and Scotland!  And I almost made it into the wizarding world...so close! 


4. Post more on FlipFlops.  I will resolve to have spend more time posting on here.  This blog is for all of us. Got any ideas and want admin rights? Let me know! I'll make it happen. 

I have many more goals: be fit, be more giving, work on a plan for my card making business---but these are more personal and I'm much more interested in hearing about your goals for this year! What are they folks? Following Beyonce across the globe on her world tour? Become the next alien/monster on Yo Gabba Gabba? Enter your Frenchie into the Naughtiest Dog competition?  Sound off in the comments!

She was churning butter

Another True Blood Dissection

A Rage Cage Franchise?

I once saw an episode of Delocated where Jon ran an aggression shop--with old TVs, stereos and metal trash cans set up in the store.  And you could pay, get a baseball bat and just go to town in the store.  Does anyone know if something like that really exists?  If so I'd like a year long membership, please.

Spring Brayyk. The scariest word combination, like ever.

*Before you begin to read this, open this link in another window and play simultaneously. It will set the mood.   Grimes - Oblivion 

I should really wait and let it sink in.  I keep telling myself to give it time. Cool my jets. Sleep on it. But there will be no sleep tonight. Oh no.  I can't pack for Vegas, do laundry, or even eat until I get this out of my system.  A purge, nay, a cleanse.

I feel dirty. So dirty, for having sat through all 94 minutes of Spring Breakers.  And I really should have known that it would turn out this way.  After all, Harmony Korine, the writer/director, also wrote KIDS.  That should have been my first red flag right there.  

For a rough recap, four bored college girls seek adventure and diversion from their already crazy lives in the form of their dream spring break in St. Petersburg, FL.  In order to fund their trip, they rob a local eatery with water pistols.  Everything goes swimmingly until they are arrested for drugs and alcohol in their hotel room.  With nothing but their two pieces and tennis shoes, the girls remain in jail until their knight in titanium teeth armour, James Franco's Alien, rides up in his white horse (a '95 white Camaro with the vanity plate BALLR) and whisks them away. Though a couple girls bow out of the scene early ("Run bitch run for your life!"), we follow the girls and Alien for the rest of the film as they rob, smoke and fuck their way around the scandalous streets of St. Pete. 

Let's get a look at those beautiful teef.

The dialogue was meant to be poetic, but I just thought it was shitty. Cliche, bizarre, frenetic.  No other way to say it.  Positively cringe-worthy.  And now, for your pleasure, I would like to share some of these gems with you:

"I'm starting to think this is the most spiritual place I've ever been." - Yes, the character Faith (message!) is talking about St. Pete.

"Spring break forever bitches!"

"I'm tired of seeing the same thing. Everybody's so miserable here because they see the same things everyday, they wake up in the same bed, same houses, same depressing streetlights, one gas station, grass, it's not even green, it's brown. Everything is the same and everyone is just sad. I really don't want to end up like them. I just want to get out of here. There's more than just spring break. This is our chance to see something different." - Another winner from Faith.  Isn't she just chalk full of originality?

"Come on, y'all. Why you actin' 'spicious?" - The best lines come from Alien.

"This was my dream. I made it come true. This is the fucking American dream. This is the fucking dream y'all. This is my shit. Look at my shit! I got shorts, every fucking color. I got designer t-shirts. I got gold bullets. Motherfucking vampires. I got my dark tannin' oil, lay out by the pool. This is the American dream, y'all." - Who else but Alien?

When the credits started rolling, I just didn't know what to do with myself.  I don't think any of us did.  In fact I am certain of this as I have a series of texts between C-note and myself.  Let our texts help you to understand our newly formed mental instability:

So what more can I say? As far as disturbing films go, this one tops my list.  It now lives among Full Metal Jacket, Sybil, and Freaks.  Those are some of my absolute haunts. What are yours?

SPRING BRAYYK Y'ALL...

Holla Holla Holla Holla Holla

Thanks, D-Money for sharing this awesome vid.  What's even more super about this vid is the fact that I wish I could have directed it. Wish I had stayed on that path...

We've Got it Goin On...Who's Got it Goin On?

OK, I did some thorough research on the reputable WikiSearch.  I looked up the singles for NKOTB, N*Sync and Backstreet Boys to see who is the reigning champ of hitmakers.  Let's see what we've discovered:
NKOTB
Total number of singles: 25
Total US number 1 hits: 3
N*Sync
Total number of singles: 18
Total US number 1 hits: 1
Backstreet Boys
Total number of singles: 26
Total US number 1 hits: Surprisingly goose egg! 

So who's the winner?  Who is more memorable and will stand the test of time? Are these stats even accurate?  All good questions. I'm opening up the floor for discussion. 

The First True Blood Tease of the Season. Hoorah!

She Stands Strong in a Sea of Red...Like Moses

Way to go, Coco. We are standing tall and red-less. 

I'm Sooooorry!

How can this be?!

Dance With Me

"Oh I most, I mostly feel I had a good day.
Oh I most, I mostly feel I had a good day.
It wasn't that great..."
-Ra Ra Riot

The first lyric sticks to me this week, but don't let it fool you. Ra Ra Riot has a great new single out. 

Would Pedro like these bangs?

Three hours spent in the salon to get new color and purple streak put in.  And though I didn't ask for it....I left the salon with bangs.  Let's talk about this.

Lip-mus Test (hyuck hyuck)

I just wanted to see what it would look like....Mmmm I don't think it fits on this face.

Pimping out my best friend's new webseries, "Not Quite Fabulous" Enjoy. 

Not Quite Fabulous Link

Been thinking about this song all week long.  Maybe for the last two weeks.  Now it's time you did as well. 

"The Company Way" - From How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
The Company Way link

It's nice to be alive

I did it! I'm alive and in one piece!  My car wasn't towed, I didn't forget anything vital and there was plenty of room in my suitcase!  However...yes I did break out - all over my face - when we were at the Dead Sea. Those minerals are no joke.  And the worst thing of all, my precious straightener blew out instantly.  I will mourn him for the rest of my days. 

The last 11 or so days in Israel were wondrous, and taking a short hiatus from my everyday surroundings was positively therapeutic.  In the briefest of brief summaries, a bus load of 20-somethings from across the U.S. came together to tour the State of Israel from north to south, east to west.  From the Golan Heights to Mitspe Ramon, Masada to Tel Aviv.  I'd love to recount a play-by-play, but this isn't a travelogue.  Perhaps throughout the next couple of posts I'll share with my avid two followers a few little ditties.  We'll see how behaved you are in the office. For now, though, who would I be if I didn't share the most beloved of experiences that makes Lauren Lauren.  Yes it wouldn't be a travel abroad Madere-style without a little humility sprinkled in.  Is it as good and "that one time I fell on the dance floor in Florence," or my "seven year itch moment"on Michigan Avenue?  No, probably not, but it still ranks. 

I would like to pose a philosophical query: If you commit an embarrassing act, but you are alone, is it still embarrassing? I believe that answer is for sure a very solid Yes.  Particularly in my case if you proceed to tell everyone directly following said incident.  Here are the deets: Halfway through the trip we stayed at a great kibbutz in the middle of the country.  We were pretty lucky since this kibbutz happened to have a bar on campus.  Since drinking was 'verboten' on the trip, we naturally all decided to go check it out. I decided to wear my very best: no makeup, a too-small yellow hoodie, cropped pool pants, red knee-high pajama socks, topped off with flip-flops. A true vision.  (I know what you're thinking, but this is not yet the embarrassing part.) I changed my mind about my outfit suddenly because I didn't want people to think I was a total schlep.  I ducked back into my room to check my outfit.  There was no floor-length mirror, so, with a hot cup of tea in one hand, I pulled out a small stool underneath the vanity and stood on it.  After a quick glance and shoulder shrug, I went to step off the stool.  I was still looking in the mirror when I noticed my whole body was leaning to the right.  Too late did I realize the stool couldn't support me and it fell out from under me.  I stared into my fearful, wide eyes as I slammed onto the floor.  Hot tea ejected gracefully from its cup in slow motion, and then I felt it crash down upon me.  Not a soul was there to witness this.  I could have gotten away with it. So WHY did I tell the people waiting for me outside?! The world will never know.  End note: after recounting my tale of woe to my roommates, they informed me that were was indeed a floor-length mirror; it was in the wardrobe by the door. Sigh.

Yippee for Yisrael

“Never let your fear decide your fate” – AWOLNATION. 

Kill Your Heroes - AWOLNATION 

Come Monday, I will be facing three of my biggest fears by hopping on a plane to Tel Aviv.  YEESH.  I'll leave you to guess what those fears are.  Currently I'm wavering in between excitement, nervousness, and paralyzing gut-tightening fear.  This past week I was about 60% excited; now I think we can bump that up to 70%.  Perhaps I can calm my nerves a bit more if I list out my prayers for this venture:

I pray that:

1. My straightener will not burn out from the adapter. Hell hath no fury like a lady without frizz control. 

2. My car that I parked at my office's lot won't get towed.

3. I didn't leave anything vital behind in Tampa, such as my hairbrush, my pajama socks, and my floss picks!

4. My skin doesn't break out - not a good look for me

5. There will be enough room in the suitcases for knickknacks and other crap, because I do not want to spend extra dough on a new bag and baggage fees. 

And with that, I take my leave. Onward to adventure!

Hello, Israel.  Goodbye USA.  Shalom, bitches!

What are we thinking? Does this look like enough bags for 10+ days or not enough?

Oh, hello 2013.

Well, here we are.  In comes the newborn year, all fresh, red and wrinkly. To say the very least, I am in a transition period, and this blog will serve as an outlet, a release as I spend the next year(s) readjusting and pushing on.  Just like a newborn, we are in very early stages of development. But I've got goals; I have a vision.  Instead of the loose email threads, picture messages and one-off texts, let this place be a catch-all for all these things. Pictures, links, film & media, articles, travel. Let’s dive right in.